Sub-Chorionic Hemorrhage

Sub-Chorionic Hemorrhage. 

Those 3 words have haunted me since last Friday. 

I had a really good, AWESOME way I was going to surprise my family & everyone else but shit happens so here we are. 

A week ago I went in for what would be my 7 week ultrasound.
The ultrasound tech wasn't overly friendly unlike any of the ultrasounds I have had in the past. She showed me nothing on the screen and maybe said a total of 10 words the entire time.
I left really annoyed.
I didn't expect a sugar - coated anything and I'd get the results the next day from my doctor anyway so whatever.
Last Friday my doctor called me.
It was 4:55pm.
He told me the ultrasound tech report noted I was bleeding (I wasn't. I hadn't bled at all; actually -- more annoyed at ultrasound tech).
My ultrasound also told him there was a small, empty, sac & a sub-chorionic hemorrhage keeping the emptiness company.
"Okay"
We'll repeat the scan in 10 days, make sure to take it easy.
It's too early to do/see much so I'm not sure how big of a problem, if any this is.
"Okay"

I love my doctor.
I don't know what Charley's outcome would have been had I not had him.
I LOVE MY DOCTOR.

This is not the first time I received news like this.
I went through the broken, empty, lonely heartache prior to Charley & I was bracing myself for an answer that could go either way.


Ricky was away on a man's trip out of cell phone reception.
I had plans for the weekend & I couldn't google until later that night so everything went.
Eventually Ricky got reception and he came home the next day.
I cancelled some weekend plans that weren't really considered taking it easy.

Yesterday I woke up earlier than normal just feeling off.
& there it was after my morning pee.
The color you don't want to see when you're pregnant.

My doctor didn't open for 2 more hours so I called when they opened and left a message for the nurse. Of course, my doctor was in surgery all day and both his nurses were out so another equally talented nurse called me and got me on the books with another doctor. I called Ricky, made arrangements for Charley and waited. Panicked.

From what I have researched sub-chorionic hemorrhages effect a small percentage of pregnancies.
An even smaller percentage are symptomatic (ie: bleeding).
MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR.
There is little known about them and what causes them etc but they are a continued threat (& complete annoyance).


Here's the thing:
When you have what they call a "bleed" it scares the shit out of you because you also pass clots much like a miscarriage. Some "bleeds" reabsorb and it's a done deal, some people bleed until giving birth.
They're not a threat to me, but they are a threat to a baby.
It is basically a sac of blood that is the cream filling in the Oreo in what should be the baby & the uterus.

We dropped Charley off & with tears in my eyes as I explained to my parents what my appointment was for & that I didn't know what to expect. As I was crying and trying to explain the unknown Charley just looked me in the eyes and yelled "MOM ITS OKAY" at least 20 times. She's such an optimist.

Things like this are hard.
You hold it together with nervousness in the back of your mind.
Hoping for the best & preparing for the worst.

I knew the appointment could go a couple ways.
I was truly hoping to see a gummy-bear-baby splashing around with a shrinking hemorrhage but what we saw was a small, empty, thin walled gestational sac with a growing, moving hemorrhage that looked like thick mud making it's way closer to the sac.

The doctor told me my clinical diagnosis is an "at risk miscarriage."
It's too early to tell what's going on with the hemorrhage & the sac.
I will be doing a quantitative HcG where they checked my levels yesterday and will check again tomorrow for progress, regress or staying the same & from there we will have a game plan.

I am not completely out of the game - yet.

While most people see cardiac activity around 6 weeks I didn't see it until right at 8 weeks with Charley & I know my cycle like a master so it's possible that my body just works a little slower when it comes to getting these things going.
My lady parts like to play tricks on me so my due date was also pushed back 10 days when I was around 10 weeks with Charley and she still made her debut a week early.

SO

at this point I am not really sure what to expect.
I'm literally in the center with an outcome that could go either way.


It is hard. 
I've done it before but I never thought I'd have to go through it again.
My body has already carried a perfect baby - surely it could do it again??
I am at peace with either outcome while still hoping for the best.

I am blessed to have a healthy little girl & a husband that understands compassion and empathy & even adds a little humor to lighten the mood. We have been through for better & for worse before & we'll be there many more times.
I am hurt because a miscarriage feels like betrayal by your own body & it sucks.
I'm also in pain from the moving hemorrhage & I can't even pick up my own daughter.
But I am okay.
Charley was a rainbow baby and I wouldn't take back any part of what I went through to have her.
I would do it a thousand times if I had to.

So thank you all for the continued prayers, support & well wishes.
I will update as soon as I have some answers.